


all the crazy things we did

by haetbit



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Brief Cheating Themes, M/M, Moving On, Past Relationship(s), Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 11:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15314118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haetbit/pseuds/haetbit
Summary: It isn’t a big deal, shouldn’t be one, just as he has told Doyoung earlier. After all, it’s been years and it was clear that Youngho has moved on. He knows he should too.Maybe seeing him tonight will finally help him.





	all the crazy things we did

**Author's Note:**

> as mentioned in the tags there are brief cheating themes in this fic (mainly just a kiss)
> 
> the title's taken from avril lavigne's wish you were here but it has 0 relation to the fic actually :') 
> 
> if you like reading with bgm, i'd recommend you to read this with wendy and yang da il's one summer (both the song and the inst), i wrote this with the album on repeat!

 

 

 

_Now that the year has passed_

_I’m left alone in this summer night_

_The loneliness that comes naturally is only tiring me_

 

_\-- One Summer, Yang Da Il & Wendy _

 

 

 

Summer is here again.

 

When he was still living with eight of the other members in his team, a couple of years ago, the arrival of summer signified daily watermelon binge eating sessions and the occasional ice cold beer under the supervision of the manager living with them. Of course, only him and their Canadian member Mark could pull through eating watermelon everyday, the others complaining of stomachaches or having to go to the restroom too often, some (Doyoung, specifically) scowling “aren’t you even sick of eating it everyday?!” at them sometimes.

“Hyung’s doing that again,” the voice he hears suddenly reminds him that he isn’t alone, and he looks up to see Mark frowning at him.

“Doing what?” Jaehyun asks, fingers playing with the tab of the canned beer in front of him making dull _thack, thack_ sounds. How time has changed things over the years, now he’s living alone, and the members who once loved eating watermelons to cool the summer heat are now nursing cold beers instead.

Mark gestures around his face with his hands, frown deepening as he tries to show what he meant. “That thing you do with your face, like you blank out, and then, it’s like you’re not here, you know?” he explains, and groans when Jaehyun only laughs. “I know, my Korean’s gotten worse, hasn’t it.”

“No, no,” Jaehyun waves off, “It’s just cute how you still haven’t gotten rid of your habit of using all those fillers when you speak,” and Mark makes an understanding _ah,_ going on to say how Doyoung commented on that too when they met a few days ago. “He says I’m 28 now, if I haven’t managed to fix it after so long it’s probably going to stick with me for the rest of my life.”

Jaehyun chuckles, shaking his head, and says, “It’s good that some things don’t change even after so long, don’t you think? Do you remember, when we used to eat watermelon everyday in the dorms?”

They laugh as they recover the different episodes that happened during all the summers they were living together from their memories, laughing so hard until they are both doubling over their seats, tears brimming from their eyes.

“Those were really good times,” Mark concludes, sighing contentedly as he rubs the tears away from his eyes, “I think summer’s still the best season.”

If you had asked Jung Jaehyun years ago (perhaps when he had just turned 20) if he liked summer, he would have answered that he did, just as he liked all the other seasons. People had called him easygoing and good-natured back then, always seeing the good in everything, even in the challenges and trials he faced, but it really was just indifference. There were things he liked and disliked about every season, so there wasn’t really a point in deciding if he liked or disliked any. As he grew older, however, it struck him when he’s lying in his bed alone on a cold winter night, insides feeling chilly even when he’s surrounded in warmth, that he really does prefer the sweltering hot summer over any other season.

 

So Jaehyun replies, “Yeah, summer’s really the best.”

 

 

The bi-monthly gathering their team holds is happening tonight, and Jaehyun is trying his best not to panic and back out at the last minute. Doyoung and Taeil have sent him texts on whether he would like to sit out of this one since this morning, as if they feel that it’s better for him to, but Jaehyun has insisted that he’s fine. He really is, he just needs some time to get over the initial shock after hearing from someone whom he hasn’t heard from (intentionally or not) in a year.

 **_Youngho-hyung_ ** _10:19_

_See you tonight kids!!_

**_Donghyuckie_ ** _10:20_

_Heol hyung you’re coming tonight?!?!?!?!_

_Hyung you’re back in Seoul?!?!?!?!?_

**_Markeu Lee_ ** _10:20_

_Hyung how could you not have told us_

**_Yuta-hyung_ ** _10:20_

_Yoooooo Jyani Jyani welcome back~ ^^_

**_Jungwoo_ ** _10:20_

_See you tonight hyung! ^^_

 

Jaehyun groans loudly after reading through the messages from this morning again, throwing his phone somewhere on his couch carelessly as he chews on the inside of his cheeks before preparing to leave the house. It isn’t a big deal, shouldn’t be one, just as he has told Doyoung in their text conversation earlier. After all, it’s been years and it was clear that Youngho has moved on. He knows he should too.

“I can’t run from him forever,” he tells himself resolutely as he looks into the mirror after putting on his outfit for the night.

It wasn’t as if he’d done Youngho wrong, and neither did Youngho do him any; they were in love once, and then they fell out of love. There’s no big deal with that, it happens with everyone. In his head he vaguely hears Doyoung’s voice going, _“The problem arises when someone can’t move on,”_ and he clenches his fist a little to ground himself. Maybe seeing him tonight will finally help him move on.

It must.

 

 

The weather outside is humid, and from the petrichor the grass around him is emanating Jaehyun guesses that it is going to rain tonight. He smiles wryly at that, wondering if fate was really out there to get him today by setting such an apt weather for their reunion. Doyoung arrives to pick him up right then, and he prepares himself for another round of concerns. They make small talk for a few minutes after he settled into the passenger seat, and when the music from the radio starts to fill the silence between them, Jaehyun patiently waits for him to bring up the topic as he watches Seoul’s nightlife breeze pass them. 

“Jaehyun-ah,” Doyoung starts, tone hesitant, and Jaehyun feels the corner of his lips creep up unknowingly. He’s about to put up a strong front and insist that he’ll be fine tonight, but the next words that come out from Doyoung surprises him.

“You know hyung’s always on your side, you do remember me helping you in arguing with Youngho-hyung when you two broke up that year, right?”

The words brought unwanted memories of how ugly things almost got that year to the surface of his mind, and Jaehyun digs his nails into his palms to keep his focus on the conversation. “Yeah,” he says, voice a little strained. “What about it?”

“Hyung’s on your side, but I think it’s time for you to really move on.”

The words sting a little more when it’s coming from a third party, but Jaehyun knows where Doyoung was coming from. “Shouldn’t you have told me this when Youngho-hyung got married last year?” he asks almost jokingly, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“I wanted to, but you took off on a long holiday suddenly and was out of reach, you don’t remember?” Doyoung grouses, and Jaehyun shrinks back into his seat a little, recalling that he did cut off all contact with everyone during that period.

“Anyway, I’m telling you this now because, you know, hyung’s got a kid now too. You’ve heard, haven’t you?”

Jaehyun remembers seeing the members talking about it in their group chat a few months ago, but he’d only given it a glance through and put the group on mute for the rest of the week. It’s how he’s been cutting himself off from any news related to Youngho for the past few years, ever since they’ve left the dorms and worked on their individual careers outside their group activities.

“I know, hyung. Don’t worry, the reason I decided to go tonight is to put an end to my own feelings and all these meaningless lingering attachments too.” he reassures Doyoung, throwing him his signature dimpled smile.

Doyoung scoffs, “I’m glad you’re thinking this way, but you should know better than to think that I’d believe in that smile of yours.” The smile falters a little after his words, but he continues, “If you need help you can always come to me, I do know some good men, but I’m just worried that you won’t even look at them.”

That manages to incite a full-blown groan from Jaehyun, resolving to hide his face in his arms when Doyoung wouldn’t stop talking about introducing his friends to him.

 

 

He could feel his resolve crumbling the moment they enter the restaurant.

Taeyong has reserved the place for them, saying it was his friend’s, which meant they could be at ease with themselves for the night. That also means it would be easier for him to focus on things he did not necessarily want to focus on, like the broad shoulders that shook with the sound of laughter he’s still familiar with after all these years apart. As Jaehyun reproached himself for noticing that the first thing he’s stepped in, Doyoung is already pulling him towards the main table where most of them are gathered.

“Ey, our Jaehyunie is finally here~” Taeyong is obviously already in high spirits, judging from the number of soju bottles scattered around the table, and Jaehyun feels a headache coming for him already. He’s about to ask the members around Taeyong to stop him from drinking anymore when he’s pushed into a seat, and before he can even register who did it the person sitting across him is already greeting him.

“Hey, Jaehyun-ah. It’s been a long time.”

The voice seems to have sent everything into a standstill, because Jaehyun’s sure he could’t hear or see anything else for a few seconds. He stares at Youngho, seated across him and smiling as if nothing is wrong, as if he’s the only one feeling all these emotions brewing inside of him, and Jaehyun suddenly feels a sense of resentment towards him.

“Hey, hyung.” he says blandly, looking away as he searches for something else to set his attention on.

Next to him, Chenle throws an arm around his shoulder and pulls him over slightly. “It’s not just you, Johnny-hyung, even the few of us who are in Seoul hardly get to see Jaehyunie-hyung too,” he half-grumbles, and Youngho laughs at that.

Jaehyun huffs a little as he reaches up to pinch the younger’s cheeks. “Hyung hasn’t seen you in a while and you’ve gotten quite brave, huh?” he says in a mock menacing tone, only letting go when Chenle yelps out an apology.

“Have you been busy lately?” Youngho directs his question at him again, and Jaehyun laments over the seat he’s been forced upon. As much as he’s decided to move on from him tonight, he still isn’t ready to face him straight on this soon. “A little,” he answers, “A few interviews ahead of the album coming up.”

“Ah,” Youngho says understandingly, and the conversation comes to an abrupt end.

They barely talk to each other for the rest of dinner, only adding onto each other’s points from time to time in other conversations. If Youngho has noticed Jaehyun drinking more than usual, he doesn’t comment on it (although he might have seen Youngho’s brows furrowing slightly whenever he refills his cup — but it could have just been his eyes playing tricks on him now that he’s intoxicated).

 

It’s getting late into the night and conversations have dulled, the members breaking into further duos and trios. Jaehyun’s taken to rest his chin against his arms on the table, alcohol making his head heavy, and he’s almost given up on joining any conversation at this point, just listening to whatever the people around him are talking about and laughing whenever he hears something funny. 

“Honestly, I really didn’t think Youngho-hyung would be the first one to get married and be a father out of all of us.” Donghyuck says, seemingly sober next to Youngho, and Jaehyun smiles from where he is seated.

For some reason it hadn’t surprised him as much as it might have surprised the others. It could be because they’ve been together before, but maybe he really just knows Youngho that well. Even though they both like kids, Youngho has always been more set on having a family, and he’s always fully-invested in every relationship he’s in. Jaehyun’s never heard of him having flings or short-term relationships, and Youngho always know all the partners he has dated well enough before getting into relationships with them. He knows this because that’s what he’s heard from Youngho himself, a long time ago when they were still sharing a room.

It hurts to admit it, but Jaehyun’s sure the shortest relationship Youngho’s ever had was with him, since they hadn’t even lasted a year.

“I mean, look at Jaehyunie-hyung, he likes kids so much but he’s been single for so long.”

The comment quietens everyone a part of the conversation around him, and Jaehyun feels as if someone just poured a tub of ice cold water down his head, the warm fuzziness the alcohol has left in his brain fizzing away. He sits up then, just in time to see Donghyuck looking at him with his lips pursed, visibly blanched from what he had just said. Next to him, Youngho is wordlessly turning his small soju glass on the table, and Jaehyun snickers softly.

He stands up, catching the attention of all who was part of the conversation, and then waves them off. “Don’t mind me, I’m just going to the washroom. Continue talking.” He catches Doyoung quirking a brow at him when he’s staggering towards the washroom, but ignores him. The washroom is empty when he enters, and he locks himself inside a cubicle to sit on the covered toilet bowl, relishing the much needed peace.

What Donghyuck said wasn’t wrong, and he probably only spoke the truth that no one else dared to under the influence of the alcohol, so Jaehyun doesn’t blame him. It’s true that he’s been single for years now; he’s tried to get into relationships after their breakup, with both women and men, but after a while it became clear that he just couldn’t do it. He remembers breaking down one night and needing Taeyong to fetch him home after drinking alone in a bar before he caused a scene. It’s all but an embarrassing memory now, how he cried and lamented how quickly Youngho had moved on when he couldn’t.

They didn’t end off on a bad note, to be fair. It was fine until they started fighting over the smallest of things, things that they thought they have gotten used to even before they became lovers. The members have put it out well; it was as if becoming lovers have caused them to see the cracks and faults they have never seen in each other before. They loved each other, Jaehyun had loved Youngho, even when they argued and spat acid at each other, the aftermath of each fight have always been sweet; they each took turn to apologise, depending on who started the fight, the kisses and hugs, little glances and touches they shared were enough to make him remember why he had fallen in love in the first place.

He thought they could find a way, a balance to make it work eventually, as long as they kept trying, but in the end it just wasn’t enough. They broke up on a winter night, sometime in mid-January after their usual radio recording, in the parking lot of their dorm apartment. Youngho had asked their manager to wait for them in the lift lobby, and Jaehyun knew then what was coming. The snow had just started to fall, strong winds blowing the snowflakes high and low, when Youngho brought it up.

“I love you, Jae, you know I do. But this isn’t going to work out, we can’t go on arguing and making up every few days like this. The team’s going to be affected by us, you know that.”

And Jaehyun’s got nothing to refute that, so he says: “Okay.”

He thought that he did well to not have cried then, even when he wanted to act wilful and say no, even when Youngho pulled him in to kiss his forehead for the last time, but he guesses all the tears he’s shed over the years was enough to make up for it.

 

“Jae?”

Jaehyun flinches at the sudden call for him, elbow jabbing against the cubicle wall by accident from the shock and he moans in pain, causing Youngho to knock against the door.

“Hey, you alright in there?”

He rubs at his elbow to ease the pain as he stands up and opens the cubicle door, scowling a little at the sight of Youngho’s worried face. “M’fine, hyung, you just scared me.”

Youngho smiles sheepishly then, murmuring a _sorry_. “You were in here for so long, we were worried that something’s happened,” Jaehyun nods, walking over to wash his hands in the sink. “I wasn’t referring to that,” he explains, and Youngho raises his brows.  

“The nickname? It’s about time you stopped calling me that, hyung.”

“Ah.”

Youngho used to call him ‘Jae’, or ‘Jay’ like he used back as a child in the States, when they were still dating. It wasn’t a big thing, nothing sweet or lovey-dovey about it, but they both liked it. To think about it now their whole relationship seemed to be like that; nothing extravagant or flashy, enough to make their members wonder at times if they’re really even dating, but special enough for the two of them.

Not that any of these things matter anymore.

“Sorry, it just slipped out like that.” Youngho apologises again, looking at him through the mirror, and Jaehyun pulls a paper towel from the dispenser before turning around to face him.

“What’re you doing back in Seoul again, hyung? Sorry, must’ve missed it out during the conversation just now,” he asks, genuinely curious now on why the John Suh who is supposed to be in Chicago with his family back in Seoul all of a sudden.

“I just opened a new exhibition for my photos here, ” Youngho explains, grinning, “Ten’s been bothering me about it since he started his two years ago, and I finally have some time on my hands, so,” he shrugs, as if it hasn’t been thoroughly thought through.

Jaehyun hums in acknowledgement, throwing the paper towel into the bin behind them. “I see, that’s nice,” he comments, before moving to walk past Youngho in an effort to get out of the washroom.

“Won’t you come, Jaehyun-ah,” Youngho proposes before he could even reach the door, “I’ve got pictures of you this time. And some of the other members as well. It’ll be like revisiting memories.”  

Revisiting memories, Jaehyun thinks. What if he doesn’t want to revisit them?

“Maybe, hyung, I’m a little busy these days,” he says instead, not finding any meaning in spiting him, and when Youngho doesn’t say anything in return he turns to leave the washroom.

 

 

Everyone seemed to be getting ready to leave by the time Jaehyun got back to the table, and a look around is enough for him to know that at least half of them will be getting chauffeur service back home. Even Doyoung, who is supposed to be in charge of sending him back home safely tonight, is looking too intoxicated to drive. He sighs as he slumps back into his seat, wondering if he should just cab home, when someone taps his shoulders.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home,” Youngho says, head gesturing towards the door. As if he’s sensed his reluctance, he added, “You’re still living in the same neighbourhood, aren’t you? My hotel’s in that direction, it’ll be easy for us both.

Jaehyun takes a look around the table again, and with another sigh he gets up to follow Youngho out of the restaurant after saying goodbye to the rest. The humidity seems to have risen further while they were indoors, the night air now enveloping them like a warm, thick cloak. “Looks like it’s going to rain soon,” Youngho notes, and he hums in reply.

Youngho’s parked his car a few blocks away, unable to find a nearby parking space when he arrived just now, so they have to walk for a few minutes. It’s late enough in the night for there to be little people around in this less busy side of town, and they walked in peaceful silence, Youngho a few steps ahead of Jaehyun. Jaehyun was still contemplating on whether to just call a taxi to go home when the first raindrop hit the side of his arm.

“Oh?” Youngho voices like he felt the raindrops as well, and before either of them have a chance to react the rain started to fall heavily, leaving them drenched by the time they ran under the nearest awning of a shophouse they could find. They both looked on dazedly as the rain continued to pelter down ceaselessly, and started to laugh when they saw how wrecked each other looked.

Youngho’s hair is now a complete mess, a few strands covering his eyes which he tries to pull back, and Jaehyun’s sure his isn’t that much better either. The fabric of the rayon shirt he’s wearing sticks to his skin uncomfortably, but he’s too busy laughing at the whole situation to care right now.

“Hyung this is really funny,” he says between laughs, and it causes Youngho to follow suit. “If we stayed in for a while more we wouldn’t have gotten like this,” he elaborates, and Youngho pushes him a little in a futile effort to get him to stop laughing.

When their laughter finally died down, the rain is still falling just as heavily. They’re standing closer together now, the rain seeping in due to the wind, and Youngho’s hand is resting on his shoulder.

“Are you cold?” he asks, voice almost right next to his ear, and Jaehyun feels a shiver run through him involuntarily. The hand on his shoulder tightens a little, and he shakes his head. “I’m fine, what about you?”

“Not really,” Youngho replies, “Sorry, if we have left later we really might have gotten to the car dry.”

“It’s okay, hyung, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten caught in the rain like this anyway.”

It took Jaehyun a while to remember that the last time he had been caught in the rain like this he had been with Youngho too. He shifts a little uncomfortably when Youngho asks _really?_ but sighs in relief when he doesn't continue asking.

“I've got caught a few times back in Chicago, the rainy season just hit the city lately.”

“Ah…” Jaehyun pictures him and his wife taking shelter like this in the rain, and smiles a little sadly to himself. _Hyung is the one in all of these little moments of mine, but for hyung it's no longer me who takes them up in your mind, right?_

“Maybe I should run to the convenience store to grab us an umbrella, I think I saw one while walking here just now,” Youngho suggests, “I'm scared you'll catch a cold.”

Jaehyun turns back to look at him a little disapprovingly. “I'm thirty, hyung. Don't you think it’s time for you to stop babying me already?”

“This isn’t called babying, it’s worrying!” Youngho clarifies, a little indignantly, “Besides, I’ve known you since you were 15. I’ll always think of the Jung Jaehyun who was still a little haggard looking but liked to latch onto my shoulders and call _‘Youngho-hyung~’_ with that slightly nasal voice.”

Jaehyun glares at Youngho then, asking, “You’re teasing me now, aren’t you hyung?”

Youngho giggles softly and admits that he is before continuing, “But really, I think I’ll always see the 15-year-old you no matter how old you get,” he lifts his hand towards Jaehyun’s face then, causing him to shift a little backwards in surprise. Youngho’s index finger presses down at the area on his cheek that dents in with his dimples, something he liked to do many years ago, and Jaehyun’s gaze on him wavers for a moment. “Where did all the baby fat here go…” he mumbles to himself, as he presses around the area a few times.

“It went away as time passed,” Jaehyun states blandly, eyes focusing on Youngho’s as they are transfixed on his dimple and cheeks.

“What about the 21-year-old me, hyung?”

“Huh?” The pressure on his cheek disappears then, the question bringing Youngho’s attention back to him.

“Do you think about the 21-year-old me too?”

Youngho’s eyes lock with his then, and they stay in this position for a good moment, the sound of raindrops falling on the awning above them accompanying them. The moment is broken when Youngho's gaze falter, and he moves away to say, “I think I should go get the umbrella, it doesn’t look like the rain’s stopping anytime soon,” but Jaehyun pulls him back before he could leave to cup his face in his hands and press their lips together.

Hands fall to Jaehyun’s waist immediately, warmth holding his sides as he presses small, gentle kisses to Youngho’s lips continuously. He knows that Youngho can’t do this, that he has a family waiting for him back in Chicago, and that what they have is long over, but he needs this. He feels a whimper bubbling out from his throat, and presses his body closer to Youngho’s.

“Hyung,” he whispers against his lips, “You remember, don’t you? The night I first kissed you, just like this. Under the shelter in the rain.”

The night they have gotten together had just been like tonight; slightly humid until the rain started to fall. They had been on their way back to their dance studio from the supermarket a few blocks away in the middle of the night when the sudden shower caught them in their tracks. They took shelter under the eaves of a building while their manager rushed to get them umbrellas. He could still recall the exact words Youngho has said then, _‘But it feels good now that it’s raining, right?’,_ and he had laughed, but all that Jaehyun could focus on then was the droplets of water running down his hair and how the dim street lights filtered through his bangs to light his face and eyes as they turned to look at him. Perhaps it was that tender gaze, or the soft smile he had on his lips, or maybe Jaehyun had just been bewitched by that atmosphere in that moment. Whatever it had been, it had given Jaehyun the courage to lean up to press a kiss to the corner of Youngho’s lips then.

The brief silence that followed was almost torturous, leaving Jaehyun to wonder if he should apologise, but when Youngho’s hand gripped onto his wrist to pull him over and lips met his again, he knew that he wasn’t the only one who had been wanting it.

And now nine years have passed and the situation they’re in looks the same, but they both know that it can never be again.

 

Youngho sighs against Jaehyun’s lips, warm breath fanning his face. “I do, Jaehyun-ah,” he says, and the grip on his sides tighten a little to push his feet back flat on the ground as Youngho leans down instead. “But you and I both know we can’t go back.”

Jaehyun lets out a small cry then, tears spilling out from his eyes as his hands slide down to Youngho’s shoulders. “Please hyung,” he begs, “Just this once, help me to move on from you.”

The hands on his waist loosen for a second, and Jaehyun holds onto Youngho a little tighter, afraid that he’s going to leave just like this. He sees a flash of anguish over Youngho’s features, and then his lips are crashing onto his own, the clash of teeth strong enough to make him taste blood in his mouth, but he couldn’t care less when Youngho’s finally kissing him, their tongues tangling with each other’s. Jaehyun can’t figure out if the sounds he’s making is from crying or moaning, and Youngho’s hands have slid under his shirt to press against his bare back, pulling him closer against his own body to further deepen the kiss.

When Youngho finally lets him go, Jaehyun’s heaving for breath, mouth agape as he tries to let air rush in, their foreheads pressing against each other’s. He feels slightly calloused thumbs wiping away the tears that won’t stop falling from his cheeks, and he shudders a little when lips press a kiss to the side of his face.

“Since when did you become such a crybaby?” Youngho asks somewhat teasingly, and Jaehyun looks up at him, a wry smile on his face now.

“Probably since you left me?” Jaehyun croaks out, laughing a little hollowly, and Youngho smiles, albeit pained.

“Find someone who loves you much much more than I can, Jae.” he says, and Jaehyun lets out another sob, hands coming down to grab at Youngho’s arm weakly. “I’m sorry,” Youngho apologises, for the umpteenth time that day.

Jaehyun shakes his head, lowering it to rest against Youngho’s chest as he tries to stop his sobs. Youngho’s hands are rubbing circles on his back, and it reminds him of the time they had in their dorm, when he would sneak into Youngho’s bed on nights he couldn’t sleep and Youngho would hold him like this. The memory brings up more tears, and he shuts his eyes tight to blink them away.

“Don’t feel guilty about this, hyung,” Jaehyun tells him, “It’s all my doing, and after all I’m intoxicated now, right?”

He feels a hand patting the back of his head gently, and straightens to face Youngho. He forces a smile to his lips, and wills away the tears that are forming again to take a good look at him for what could be the last time like this.

“I really hope you’re happy, Youngho-hyung,” he says, trying his best to not letting his smile fall, “Help me pass my greetings to your family, alright?”

 

And then he’s running into the rain, not looking back even when Youngho cries out his name. 

When he doesn’t hear footsteps following behind him, Jaehyun lets the rain carry his tears and cries away, hoping that this would really be the last.

 

 

_Now that the year has passed,_

_I’m left alone to face this summer night,_

_All the times we spent together are passing by._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i really wanted angsty johnjae for once i hope this was angsty enough :')
> 
> thanks for reading and comments are appreciated! ♡


End file.
